Die Historic On The Furby Road - Overwatch, Junkrat/Roadhog

Junkrat and Roadhog customize furbies, just some light-hearted fun

Junkrat spent more time in Roadhog’s basement than he probably should. There wasn’t much of use down here, just boxes of things Roadhog didn’t want to look at or didn’t think were reusable. He didn’t have the keen scrapper instincts Junkrat did though, he’d once found a whole box of good quality cables down here. Roadhog couldn’t even remember what they were supposed to be for!

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the glimpses of what Roadhog had once been like he sometimes found down here. Never anything too revealing, no photographs or birth certificates, but things like a box of maps, carved wooden objects and an oversized mannequin were tantalizing hints of what had been important to Roadhog once upon a time.

Pawing through boxes in the semi-darkness was usually not a good idea, but he was pretty sure there was nothing too dangerous down here. He’d never found any signs of animal life, and it wasn’t like- he froze as his hand brushed against something fluffy, taking two deep breaths before slowly pulling his hand away, hoping not to draw attention. Leaning back he flicked on his lighter, staring into the box in horrified curiosity.

Two lifeless eyes stared back at him.

---

The scream made it all the way to the garage, Roadhog putting down his tools with a sigh. It wasn’t the first time Junkrat had freaked out on one of his basement diving expeditions, he’d once mistaken an old dressmakers dummy for an omnic, ready to burn the whole place to the ground before Roadhog dragged it out into the light.

Groans of protest came from the stairs as Junkrat ran for the surface, clutching a dusty cardboard box. “Roadie Roadie Roadie! You’ll never guess what I found!”

The mask tilted questioningly.

“I mean I dunno what they are, but you probably do. Some kind of robot birds?”

He dumped the box on the floor between them, throwing it open and pulling out one the creatures, covered in black and white fur. “Pretty weird right?”

Roadhog’s sharp intake of breath was audible through the mask, pulling the box closer to look at the contents. He’d forgotten he’d even had these.

Junkrat didn’t seem to notice, messing with the one he’d picked up. “So, what are they?”

“Furbies.”

“Right. Furbies. What are they about then?”

How to explain a Furby? Weird bird things that had been beloved by children that later found them creepy and annoying. Friends for a lonely kid who never got the hang of talking to people and wasn’t allowed a real pet? An old toy that kept a community of fans long after they stopped being made?

“Kids toys. They can talk and respond to certain words.” He winced as Junkrat shook the one he was holding.

“Hello?” He poked it when it didn’t respond. “It’s not talking, reckon it’s dead?”

“There’s a power switch on the bottom.”

Junkrat flipped it over, trying to wake it up as he flipped the switch back and forth. “Still dead.”

“Maybe the batteries need changing.” Where they were meant to get AA batteries from was beyond him. Obsolete before he was even born, he doubted anyone here collected tech ancient enough to need a supply.

Lost in thought, he didn’t notice Junkrat prising off the battery cover until he heard the yell of pain. A glance showed the batteries corroded and leaking, quickly grabbing Junkrat’s hand before he put it in his mouth.

“Don’t. Go wash it.”

A trail of curses followed Junkrat as he ran for the sink, swilling his hand in the water. “The fuck was that?”

“Battery acid.”

“What kind of battery has acid in!?”

He shrugged, wiping the base of the furby clean with a nearby rag. “All of them did back before 2030.”

It wasn’t long before Junkrat strode back over, wiping his burnt fingers on his shorts. “It felt more like an alkaline burn.” Like he could tell the difference. “Of course I can tell the difference!”

He lent on Roadhog’s arm, glaring at the old batteries. “Reckon I could rewire it to fit a proper battery. One that won’t melt and burn people.”

-

One dismantled remote control and a bit of solder later the Furby twitched, blue eyes blinking open. “u-nye-loo-lay-doo?” Its voice was rough, the speaker hadn’t lasted well. Junkrat sat it on the desk triumphantly., “It’s alive!”

The furby shifted, whirring quietly as its ears moved up and down. “Doo?” They both stared at it. “Yoo?”

Junkrat hummed, moving closer. “Do I what?”

“Boo.”

Junkrat pointed a screwdriver at it, face scrunched in displeasure. “Look, either you start making sense or we’re moving onto brain surgery.”

Mako fished a manual out of the box, holding it in front of Junkrat until he snatched it, mumbling to himself as he read the instructions.

“Oh, we have to teach it English?” He shifted into a dramatic stance, raising on arm and closing his eyes, voice uncomfortably loud in the small space. “We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable service—two dishes, but to one table. That’s the end.”

He cracked an eye open, looking down at the Furby like he was expecting applause.

“A man may fish with a worm that has eaten the flesh of a king, and eat the fish that has fed on that worm. ”

It chirped in response. “Me no listen.”

“Alright you little-” Roadhog grabbed the hand that went for the screwdriver, pointing firmly at the Furbish-to-English dictionary.

Junkrat took it with a heavy sigh. “Fiiiine, wee tee kah wah tee?”

“Wah Tee!” The low fidelity wail it began to make wouldn’t be out of place in a horror film, neither would Junkrat’s burst of laughter. He continued to flick through the guide. trying out new phrases as he went. It was almost comical, both staring wide-eyed at each other making nonsense sounds. Roadhog felt he should have seen this coming somehow, he’d spent his youth with a creature that always stared, always wanted attention and refused to shut up, and now he had Junkrat.

Quickly exhausting the commands, Junkrat dropped the manual. “Is that it? It only knows like five things.”

“It’s pre-millennium tech.”

“Pretty sure they had better things than this pre-millennium.”

“It was a kids toy.”

Junkrat leant back, staring up at him. “So what, you kept a box full of toys you had when you were a kid?”

The clicking of the toy filled the silence until Roadhog finally replied.

“Only had one when I was a kid, got the rest when I was older.”

“Why?”

Roadhog turned back to the box, fishing through until he found the right one. Green with a painted faceplate and a custom-made raincoat.

“People used to customize them for fun. Some people just changed their appearance a little, others changed the shape completely or attached them to other things. Lot of people added better AI.”

“Huh. Maybe I would’ve done that if I was around back then.”

Had Junkrat ever had a hobby? He loved building and blowing things up but they were also the closest thing he had to a job. Had he ever done anything without a purpose, anything that wasn’t wired to survival in his brain? Hell, it had been a long time since Roadhog had made something just for fun.

“Do you want to do one now?”

Junkrat’s eyes shone, bouncing to his feet. “Really? One of yours?” Furbies scattered as Junkrat upended the box, picking out one he liked. “This one!”

“No.”

“Why not? It’s practically falling apart anyway, not like I can make it any worse.”

Because it had been with him for forty years. It had meant so much to him as a kid and even now he couldn’t bear to get rid of it He didn’t say a word, but Junkrat seemed to get it anyway, looking slightly stricken as he put it back in the box with exaggerated care.

“Hey, no worries mate, I’ll use a different one. Wanna pick one out for me?”

Roadhog placed a blue and pink model in Junkrat’s outstretched hand. “Paint it, circuit bend it. Do what you like with it.”

“Thanks mate. Ooh! I think I’ve still got some of the gold spray paint left from doing the bricks.”

He skipped away, leaving Roadhog to stare at remaining furbies. Well, no reason he couldn’t mix this old part of himself with who he was now.

They didn’t see each other for a few hours after that, both working on their own projects. It wasn’t until the next day that Junkrat decided he was finished, proudly strutting into the room and presenting his piece to Roadhog.

“Okay so first I used soot and grease to dye it black, didn’t completely work, you can still see the original colours a bit. The fur on it’s stomach was too patchy to fix so I covered it with this sack material, then since it had those dots around it#s belly first I did ‘em over with some rivets I had going spare. Sprayed the ears and mask bit gold then gave it the goggles we snatched from that prick with the chainsaw a while back.”

“S'good.” Junkrat followed his gaze to the clunky bit of plastic at the bottom.

“That’s the second best bit. Basically I was like, what’s the point of having a pet that’s stuck in one place?” He reached below it, flicking the switch. It cooed as it floated into the air, hovering around his shoulder.

“Used some of the bits from that old assistance drone, the one I made into the scarecrow bot you thought was too creepy?“

Roadhog had never said it was creepy, but he hadn’t liked the idea of a humanoid figure floating outside his farmhouse at night, even it was in the hope of scaring away anyone who wanted to try and get them while they were sleeping.

He could feel Junkrat’s desperate desire for a follow-up question. “What’s the best bit?”

It should be impossible for anyone to smile so wide. Junkrat plucked the toy from the air, pointing it towards the open doorway.

“Fire in the hole!”

A tap to the head and it let out a distorted scream, a stream of flame shooting through its open beak,

“Imagine treading on that in the dark!”

Note to self, make sure that’s turned off before Junkrat forgets about it and treads on it in the dark.

“So what did you make then?”

Roadhog reached into the box, pulling out his creation as Junkrat gasped in delight.

Its lilac fur had been dyed a vivid orange, face plate sprayed with chrome. The beak had been covered with carved yellowing teeth. A tiny decorated leather jacket sat on its non-existent shoulders, open to show a survival belt with a tiny knife attached.

“I love it! Did'ya do anything with the insides?”

A flick of the switch and glowing yellow eyes completed the look, It danced in place before speaking in a clear, deep voice. “kah-boh-dah-kah-way-loh-kah-boh-koh-koh!”